Shouting but nobody can hear me

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Today has been the shittest of shitty shit shit days. If I could erase this day from my life then I would.

today big one has reached crisis point at nursery with his behaviour. I was called to pick him up as it’s that bad. So after many tears all day, lots of talking he is lovingly kissed and cuddled and in bed with the promise tomorrow will be better. 

Then another rock of shit got thrown into the fan. Man shape is home from work and I tell him we need to talk. I tell him about today and he starts screaming and shouting at me why does nobody know what’s making him bite? They knew the other week why the child who bit him did it, why never when big one does it? I try, exasperatedly to explain that it’s unprovoked, he just goes up and bites. But oh no this isn’t true. He doesn’t do it at home so it must not be true. 

I I feel like I’m smashing my head against the wall. This is why I can’t speak to man shape. He won’t accept any part of his responsibility, he won’t listen to reason. Essentially it comes down to the same thing. It’s my fault. It always is and always will be. 

I have now told him to go fuck himself and retired to my bed to cry myself to sleep, yet again. But I need to go downstairs so I’m really not in the mood. 

Good night you bastard of a day 

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3 thoughts on “Shouting but nobody can hear me

  1. It’s not your fault
    It’s not fair for you to have to be responsible for it on your own.
    I know it must be hard for him to deal with and understand, but that’s no excuse.
    Wishing you a much better day tomorrow. It WILL get better.

  2. mandymoo2

    It’s definitely not your fault. I don’t think anyone is to blame. I’m sorry you’ve had such a crap day. Hope tomorrow is better. X

  3. How unfair, to be burdened with it all. By Man Shape’s attitude, sadly it falls to you to be the sole person attempting to correct or even understand this. I’m so sorry, however, please trust us, you are *not* to blame. Children have us second guessing our every parenting move.

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