The waiting is just so dull.
I didn’t really expect to get pregnant this month. I won’t be hugely upset if I’m not (just quite upset). I just want to know. I want to trust in the tests, but I can’t, because something is certainly going on in my body, just not sure what.
I’m very tired. That must be a sign. Every ache and pain and spot a sign. I wish my brain would just shut up. Stop looking for signs, stop thinking about March birthdays and what the implications of leaving work then might be. Shut up, brain, you are boring.
If I am not, I will drink a large glass of white wine and buy some soft cheese. Treat myself. I’m probably not. I am not, the tests say so. They are 99% accurate from four days ago. I am not and I must tell myself this. Except I might be.
It’s so boring, I haven’t told my husband. Don’t want to get his hopes up for my hormones just being a bit rubbish. No one knows. Just me and you.
Boring boring boring boring boring.