Well well well. You are a fatty. Fatty patty! But at least you don’t eat flapjacks. I guess there’s that for consolation.
Today is fat girl fuck off day one. Yes, truly.
So as I’ve known got a long time I am fat, and instead of doing anything I’ve ignored this fact and am now in the desperate race to be at least a little bit smaller.
In exactly 11 days I’m going to a wedding, not that I’m looking forward to it, but we are going.
There will be lots of people there, people I don’t know, but I still can’t be fat infront of them!
I need to find something to wear and have seen a really cute red play suit. It’s cute but not something fatty patty could ever wear. I considered ordering two different sizes but then saw how awful it actually looked from behind on the poor model online and she’s well thin!
Back to the drawing board I guess.
Before I can really decide on a dress I need to decide how thin I can potentially be in 11 days. That’s where I’m totally going biggest looser on yo ass!
My name is say no, and I’m an extreme dieter.
I’ve been a slave to diets for years, years I tell you. But that’s nothing shocking in these days where every fucker and his wife are too. It’s like a lifestyle I have chosen to accept. Low fat, low sugar, low joy!
Well today is different. Today I’ve taken things further. I’ve got me some of bad ass appetite suppressant, fat burning magic pills.
When I say I got them, what I actually mean is man shape once bought them and were never used and who would look a gift horse in the mouth hey?
So my magic pills, it’s okay you get them from boots, they ain’t that dodgy!, coupled with slim fast and zumba may mean I am a little smaller in 11 days.
I may actually find something decent to fit my fat body.
I may even enjoy myself, but I wouldn’t put money on that.
Or the others 😕